Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The bad girl's guide to foraging

Hi. Emily Dickins here. It's fall. That means things fall from the trees. When I investigate and eat those things, Mom yells. The first things I found were berries, or maybe they're plums growing on the neighbor's trees that overhang our fence. Birds ate them. When Mom saw me eating them, she gave a bunch to the chickens to see if the chickens would get sick or die. She said that if the chickens died, she'd lock me indoors until all the berries were gone. Is that dumb or what?
This is what they look like:
 
She squished one to see the inside. Disgusting. Nobody eats that way.
The chickens were not totally thrilled with the berries, but they ate and did not get sick. Every time I went outside, I searched along the fence for fallen berries until EVIL MOM cut down just about every overhanging branch with berries on it. Good thing the neighbors can't see that side.

Still feeling peckish, I found something else to chew on after yesterday's windstorm. Now Evil Mom is even more upset. These green berries fell off a type of redwood tree, and she tried to pick them all up but no way is she going to be able to keep up with all the falling berries in the next couple of months. They don't taste great, but I like chewing on anything--indoor and outdoor wood, shoes, Miro's collar, Miro's tail, hair....
This is the tree. That's the pooper-scooper leaning up against it. Does Mom know how to take a photo or what?


And these are the chewies that fall from it. I hope somebody knows if they're really bad. Otherwise Mom might tear out all her hair and there'll be none left for me to chew on.
Forty-two pounds of bad.
 

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Doggie biscotti

The Pacific Northwest has been enjoying the world's best summer, sunny day after sunny day, most with cool breezes in the morning and temperatures rarely above 85 F in the hottest part of the afternoon. During one of the rare rainy spells, I decided to do some cooking that involved turning on the oven--not for myself, which is boring, but for the dogs. I made some changes to a recipe for pumpkin biscotti for dogs and came up with the kind of hard, crunchy biscuits appropriate for MirĂ³ and Emily's "bedtime biscuit," the phrase that gets a reluctant Emily running inside from her evening explorations. Below are the ingredients I used; they're easy to alter, especially for Airedales who are not picky.
Ingredients:
1 c pureed pumpkin (not pie filling)
3 Tbsp molasses
2 eggs, beaten
1/8 cups canola or olive oil
3 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1/4 c ground flax
1/4 c coconut flour
1-2 tsp ground cinnamon

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a large cookie sheet with non-stick spray.
Mix all the wet ingredients together in one bowl and the dry ingredients in another. Using an electric mixer or wooden spoon, slowly combine the dry ingredients into the wet. Do the final mixing by hand, kneading the dough into a ball in the bowl. You can add water or flour as needed, but the dough needs to be firm. Divide the ball into two parts, place on the cookie sheet, and pat each down to a rectangle about 1 inch thick. How long or wide the rectangle depends on the size you want the biscotti to be.

Place the loaves at least 2 inches apart and bake 35 min until firm. Cool the cookie sheet and loaves on a rack for 30 min before slicing, but that time is approximate.  Lower the oven temp to 300. When you feel like it or remember that you've left this project on the kitchen counter, place the loaves on a cutting board and slice to the desired thickness, generally half an inch. Some people have the ability to slice both loaves to a consistent thickness. I do not.

Lay the slices on the cookie sheet (and a second one if you don't have room on the first), bake at 300 for 20 min. Turn the slices over and bake for another 20 min until the biscotti reach the hardness that you want. When making people biscotti, I sometimes take the easy way out, making small, thick biscotti that can stand up so that I don't have to turn them over half-way through the cooking time.

There are healthier snacks, of course, usually involving liver that stinks up your whole house; but these are no worse than the common biscuits you buy at the store--and you know for sure what's in them.


 

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Emily the Mouseketeer


This morning I left the house in a hurry, forgetting that I'd left a mouse for Matilda the Snake defrosting on a kitchen counter. Later in the day I received this text from my son:
"Puppy was whining at dead mouse. I moved mouse to center of counter. A few minutes later crying stops. I check. Mouse is gone."

I guarantee the mouse did not walk away on its own steam. A search of the area revealed no clues.

Emily's new nickname is "Mouse-Breath."

Innocent as the day is long?
 

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Unwelcome guest

You know the type. They're not invited. They mess around in your bathroom so long that you don't even want to enter it. They ignore requests to leave. And they show up every year.
 
 
 
 I am guarding the perimeter and am not responsible for what shows up in the tub. In fact, the tub is to be avoided.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Give 'em an inch

and they take a yard.
And they eat it.



Got TP?





Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Lounge Lizard


Bad Dog I

Bad Dog II
 

Extremely Bad Dog
 
Temporarily Good Dog
 

Extremely Good Dog 

Friday, July 4, 2014

How Emily Dickins and Miro would like to celebrate the evening of the 4th

But they won't because there are too many empty-headed idiots who
think noise is the only way to fill their minds.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

The challenge of yogurt and B&W Sunday

I gave each dog a spoonful of yogurt. The experienced Miro licked the spoon and was done. Emily Dickins plunged her nose into the spoon. Here's the result.

What's this?


 Try a bit of a lick.


Maybe if I stretch out my tongue.

And curl it waaaay up.
 
I feel so defeated.
 
Ha, got it!
 
 
 

Ferocity wins.