A pain in the repository of irritations

Note: due to the sensitive nature of this topic, no photos are posted.
When walking around the neighborhood, most dogs slow and sniff several locations before deciding on the optimum point of deposit. Not Alanis. She freezes mid-step in order to contemplate the state of her bowels.

I walk my dogs for exercise; we do not stroll. Alanis has different ideas. At some point during every walk, she wants to poop. The problem is that she has trouble making up her mind—or other body parts—about when and where she wants to do it. We trot along briskly and she’ll suddenly stop, looking bewildered, as if experiencing a new sensation she can't identify.

I say, “Well, if you’re going to do it, do it.”  I wait. She waits. Finally I drag the dogs along because Alanis has decided she's not read to rumble. She’ll stop five times before she finally tucks her legs under and poops. Then the dogs want to move on and I’m saying, “Wait just a minute” because I have to pick the stuff up.

You might say that Alanis is zen-like, in tune with her body, with all this contemplation. I wish, however, she'd do her contemplating in the back yard.