The cost of a dog

An article in the newspaper stated that the cost of raising a child from birth to age 17 (not including the cost of having the baby) is $234,900, with the price per child going down if you have several and they share rooms, clothes, and toys.

Share toys? "Mommy, he took my doll and tore her head off!" "Well, she chewed the ears off my teddy bear!" My personal breakfast table favorite from my own childhood is, "Don't look at me!" from the youngest of our Gang of Four.

The cost per year of a child ranges from $12 to $14 thousand. The point is this: according to the ASPCA the first year cost of keeping a medium dog is a mere $1,580.

But the ASPCA is wrong. First, there's no allowance for repairing the chewed wainscotting, drywall or dining room chair, not that I'm accusing any of my dogs but I've heard the stories. Nor did I see any price for gallons of Nature's Miracle or professional carpet cleaning. I guess those don't count as maintenance.

It gets sillier. Training is estimated at $110. Where I live, that hardly covers one basic obedience course. They think a year of premium brand dry kibble is $120. That's only three 30-lb bags if you find the stuff on sale at $40 per bag. By contrast, a year's food for one rabbit is given as $190. Huh? Is the rabbit eating the dog's food? The rabbit's litter is $415, a figure to prompt weird speculation about what goes in one end and out the other. As for toys and treats for the medium sized dog, the laughable figure of $55 is projected.

A few of his favorite things

Maybe Airedales count as large dogs? Large dogs get an allowance of $75 for toys and treats. Fortunately, the best squeaky toy doesn't have to be figured into the dog's budget. That toy is Dog-Mom (or Dad), who is priceless. Or in my case, beyond priceless now that my health insurance has gone up again.